Missing You More

I settled into a memory
Of you, and you leaving,
How your mind dwelt on
Good things, good plans,
How you enjoyed good people,
And all the time you spent
In church, with friends,
All the funerals we attended,
All the sad goodbyes,
Then I found myself with you,
At the end as you went away,
And filled this part of life,
Many came to say goodbye,
I couldn’t, I stood tall,
With dry eyes I looked away,
I knew we’d meet again,
I miss you more today.

My Purpose

I am an unfinished song that the wind guides through the night – heard but not seen. My words are heard. My thoughts are my own. The body, which encases me, the light sees. The actual being that I am, the light does not see. My purpose in life is to search; search for something greater than what I already know. As I soar through the air, the wisdom that I acquire, with every breath I take, keeps me confident in my quest. Every word added to my ballad strengthens me. Once I am complete, will I know? Though my song seems infinite in length, I have faith that when I am complete, I will know.

I believe that I am led blindly through life, though my eyes may be open. I am led by faith, but not unaccompanied; the blind leading the blind seeking the unknown. The seeds that we plant together are far greater than those we plant alone. Without being loved and having someone to love, life seems trivial. Love is a life support. Without love, I might as well be dead. Without love, I will never be complete and sing my song to the heavens.

These years only go by once. There are no second takes if I mess up. I can’t rewind my song, and rewrite the words. I must not fret about the past since I can’t change it. However, I can be a better person in the future and make my next verse better than the preceding.

Here on Earth, I have questions; in Heaven, there are answers. Obtaining knowledge throughout my life will prepare me for the answers I will be given. I need to be able to comprehend the wonders in store for me. In closing, my purpose in life is to strive for knowledge about the unknown in my future. With love as my life support, and others accompanying me on my journey, my purpose will be fulfilled and my song will be complete.

Me

I don’t remember the last time I was myself.

Have I pretended so long that I have formed
into the person you see before you?

Andrei? Who are you? Where are you?

'Til we meet again…

Reality Check

Laying here in the room alone
Mind sorting through thoughts
With a face mask of stone,
It is not good to be alone

The shelter of imagination
As a temporary dome
How long does it take
To lose your safe home

Find what is real before it’s all gone
Grasping to reality with complete desperation
All the while fearing
This word, this thing, this feeling…

Alone

Pieces of Me

I feel
that
my mind
is about
to explode

As if
my subconscious
parallel
to the
big bang theory

I try
desperately
to keep it
together
but
the pain
inside me
is slowly
breaking me
apart

Me faltas tú

Al pensar en ti
mis recuerdos se hacen presentes
apareciendo los momentos vividos
los que alimentaron mi
alma y le dieron vida a mi espíritu 

Hoy cuando cierro mis ojos
me veo sola, sin ti,
sin aliento para continuar 

Mi mente ilusionada te busca
mi vida ha cambiado desde que no estás
El mundo ya no gira igual
y mi pluma ha dejado de escribir. 

Me faltas tú para seguir por los senderos de la vida
la inspiración huyó de mí
desde que tú no eres presencia viva
en este estar sobre la tierra que ocupo 

Regresa a mi vida
Ya las lágrimas de mis ojos se han esfumado
por la sequía infinita que has dejado
en mi alma que aún te espera
Regresa y llena todos mis vacíos
Vuelve a mí, porque me haces falta

I miss you, Crissie

Remembering Crissie

I am so angry and upset now that you’re gone
All I can do is sit and question why
Why you had to leave me so suddenly
Why I wasn’t given a chance to say goodbye

I think of our times together
And all my memories of you
Once all we did was laugh
Yet now smiles are few

We are all sad and depressed
Just wishing you were here
I’m willing to give up anything
For one more chance to hold you near

Not sure if I ever told you
Just how amazing you truly were
Trying to remember all our conversations
But they’re all just one big blur

Hope you can now see
Just how much you will be missed
The reasons we all love you
Are far too many to list

You were awesome to talk to
You were ridiculously smart
You were fun o just hang out with
And you had a huge heart

Wish I had been warned
Of your horrendous fate
So I could have prevented it
But now it’s too late

I’ll always remember you
You were one of a kind
Rest in peace my dear precious Crissie
You will always be in my heart and on my mind

All That I Love about Crissie

The music of her very face, 
The melody of her every grace, 
The harmony in her bright eye, 
Rhythm in the form of her body — 
I love all of that, and more. 

I miss you very very much, my friend!

On Names

The colossally very famous or infamous get a first name only:
Homer, Socrates, Plato, Dante, Raphael, Jesus, Napoleon, Elvis, Oprah, etc.

The very famous get a last name only: 
Da Vinci, Descartes, Einstein, Freud, Beethoven, Hitler, Stalin, Gandhi 

The famous or infamous get first and last names: 
Elie Wiesel, Adolf Eichmann, Michael Jordan, Martin Luther King, Jr. 

The not-so-famous get first and last name plus job-title: 
the novelist Michael Crichton, the poet Mark Strand, the psychologist Ralph Metzner

And the rest of us? We are ANONYMOUS. 

Seriousness and I

Large-natured, I am 
not so often
or easily amused. 
Among the masses,
the common run of men, 
I move as a grown person 
among children: 
instead of frivolous games 
I require Art, Science, Wisdom 
(loving the greatest men best). 
I freely grant that 
I am proud and private. 
And not (as now) 
so normally quiet.